Tips for Dealing with Divorce During the Holidays
Despite all the hoopla about the joy of the holidays, they can be incredibly stressful if your family unit is not intact. A divorce will definitely do that.
You will not see marriage and children through the same lens as before, and the holidays bring out the difficulties emotionally and logistically.
If your children are young and still not fully able to make decisions about family life, the holidays may mean you have to insist on your time, even though it disrupts the flow for the children.
There are some things you can do to get through the holidays with a little less stress:
Self-Care Comes First
Some of us tend to overdo it during the holidays. Drinking too much and eating lots of sugary food may be things you don’t normally do, and that can throw off your generally healthy routine.
Be careful of the excess, and make sure you sleep well. You will be more able to deal with upcoming stresses if you feel well.
You may feel stressed knowing you will have to talk to many people you don’t usually visit. Maybe it’s a relative you don’t particularly like or a neighbor with whom you are supposed to be friendly, but you would rather not talk to them.
If you put yourself out emotionally and socialize, you may find the rewards exceed your expectations, and you form bonds with friends and family. This, in turn, will make you feel better overall and, at the very least, less lonely during a time you are going through a divorce.
Be Willing to Change Plans
If you share the kids during the holidays and don’t get the exact time you planned to be with your family and kids, go ahead and be flexible. It’s not the end of the world if you celebrate Thanksgiving on Saturday rather than Thursday. Besides, there may be less traffic in your area, and your kids will likely be able to spend time with their friends, which is their routine, lessening their stress too.
It’s not time to insist that you always get your way. A divorce disrupts the entire family unit, which comprises individuals – it’s not just about you. Be generous with your time and flexible with holiday schedules, and you may find it comes back to you in surprisingly positive ways.
Embrace the Positive
It’s easy to wallow that things will not be the same as when you were married, but isn’t that the point? You do not want to raise your children in an atmosphere where parents are in conflict with each other.
You got divorced for a reason, and the future will be better for you as an individual and for the children. Embrace how much better it will be for the children. Begin new holiday traditions in the spirit of a better future.
Make plans with the goal of keeping the kids happy with the least amount of disruption in their lives. This will involve working cooperatively and without animosity with your ex.
Whether you are sharing kids during the holiday or choosing alternate holidays – one house for Thanksgiving, the other for Christmas – the kids will appreciate that their parents are working cooperatively to create a new plan.
Your Florida Family Law Attorney
Crystal Collins Spencer focuses her family law practice on the communities she calls home, from Pensacola to Fort Walton Beach, Destin, and Sandestin to Rosemary Beach and Panama City.
The holidays are never an ideal time to consider divorce, but no one thinks they will face divorce when they marry. Then life happens.
If you need some direction before you file, or if child support, spousal support, or property division now seem like they will be roadblocks to divorce, Crystal Collins Spencer, Attorney at Law, has more than 30 years of experience dedicating her practice to these challenges.
You are in the process of making decisions that will impact the rest of your life, and it may be a time when you cannot trust your spouse to be entirely honest. You want to be prepared as much as possible before facing a judge who will make your divorce final.
Spencer Law will ensure you receive thorough representation in all areas. Call our Pensacola office to set up a consultation with Ms. Spencer and her team at (850) 795-4910 or contact us online.